Chuck Norris Jokes =)

Joshmercer10 Thu Mar 18, 2010 5:32 pm

The phrase 'break a leg' was originally coined by Chuck Norris's co-stars in Walker, Texas Ranger as a good luck charm indicating that a broken leg might be the worst extent of their injuries.

This never proved to be the case.
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There is endless debate about the existence of the human soul. Well it does exist, and Chuck Norris finds it delicious.

Every time someone uses the word "intense", Chuck Norris always replies "you know what else is intense?" followed by a roundhouse kick to the face.

Chuck Norris discovered a new theory of relativity involving multiple universes in which Chuck Norris is even more badass than in this one

When it was discovered by Albert Einstein and made public, Chuck Norris roundhouse-kicked him in the face. We know Albert Einstein today as Stephen Hawking
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The quickest way to a man's heart is with Chuck Norris' fist.

Every time Chuck Norris smiles, someone dies. Unless he smiles while he’s roundhouse kicking someone in the face. Then two people die.

Chuck Norris is the only person who can simultaneously hold and fire FIVE Uzis: One in each hand, one in each foot – and the 5th one he roundhouse-kicks into the air, so that it sprays bullets.

Paper beats rock, rock beats scissors, and scissors beats paper, but Chuck Norris beats all 3 at the same time.

Chuck Norris has 12 moons. One of those moons is the Earth.

Chuck Norris uses a night light. Not because Chuck Norris is afraid of the dark, but the dark is afraid of Chuck Norris.

When Arnold says the line "I'll be back" in the first Terminator movie it is implied that he is going to ask Chuck Norris for help.

Nobody doesn't like Sara Lee. Except Chuck Norris.

Chuck Norris is currently suing myspace for taking the name of what he calls "everything around you".

When Chuck Norris plays Monopoly, it affects the actual world economy.

Chuck Norris is not Irish. His hair is soaked in the blood of his victims.

If you spell Chuck Norris in Scrabble, you win. Forever.

Chuck Norris doesn't look both ways before he crosses the street... he just roundhouses any cars that get too close.